by pgrimm » Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:54 am
Brooks, Darrell, Equestrian and all,
Thanks for all your responses to me. I'm only the loved one of a victim, so I hate to complain, but I have my down days, but mostly just low energy. It's so hard to look at this guy who just a couple of months ago was zipping around this house comically, and is now making his way so slowly around with his cane. I can see the pain in his face, almost all the time. Every once in awhile, the old Bill comes back, with that wonderful sense of humor, actually enjoying his day, only to wake up in the morning looking five years older. Don't get me wrong, I don't say that in a superficial sense, it's just that it scares us both that someone can age so fast. You all know what I mean. I am trying to face our trip to the VA in SD tomorrow with both optimism and realism. They won't even call us back to say what to expect, will they admit him overnight, and if so, for how many days. So I'll packing a bag, bringing the dog, and hoping for the best, whatever that might be. We both want him to get some relief, but surely don't expect them to provide it. Mostly, we do expect them to give him tests and a diagnosis. Without that, we'll have to get him into a private doctor, and without an alternate insurance, we can't afford to do that. You know, it's always a tragedy to become ill, but it's sure a lot easier if you're wealthy. We're not. So with medicine, you get what you pay for. I went to my own doctor today, told him about the VA, he said he used to work in that office, and indicated it was the worst. He also told me that of course the VA prescribes lovastatin, it's the cheapest statin drug they can get, and the oldest on the market, so of course they give it to our VETS. How sad is that?
My energy waxes and wanes, this has taken it's toll. I have an exhausting job, and I am adding overtime to get things done in order ot be able to take these days off to go with Bill. I want to do it, but I also want my efforts to pay off. Once he's settling into recovery, I want to help somehow, just not sure yet how. I need everyone's suggestions, then I'll be willing to do whatever I can. People here seem to know what has worked and what hasn't, so that a good start. I'm disappointed in the poll that there aren't more loved ones on here to help, and I was surprised to see that. I am encouraging everyone I know to find out more about this. I hope there will be enougjh people with the strength needed to fight these damned drug companies. They damage people so much then they can't fight back. It's criminal and it sickens me that they're getting away with it!
I realize I'm rambling here, just venting my frustration. I hope I can talk with Dr. Golomb on this trip, she has assured us she will at least consult. She is not doing inpatient duty at this VA until June, unfortunately. Bill's seeing a neurologist. If they start saying again that it's arthritis in his neck, I'll scream!
Wish us luck. I feel like whatever success we do have, will somehow be passed along to others. Not sure how at this time, just a feeling.
Wishing you good days, Pam